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How to survive your breakup at Christmas with children whilst still living together

Emma Bryon • December 1, 2023

Divorce Wellness

break up at christmas

Living together during a separation with children, especially during the holiday season like Christmas, can be emotionally charged. However, it's essential to prioritise the well-being of the children and create a positive and stable environment for them. Use these tips for navigating this situation during Christmas holidays to create a better environment for the children.


  1. Focus on the Children:
  • Keep the children's well-being at the forefront. Try to maintain a sense of normalcy for them, and prioritise their emotional needs during the holiday season.


2.   Communicate and Plan Ahead:

  • Communicate openly with your co-parent about plans for the holidays well in advance. Discuss how you can collaborate to create a positive and memorable experience for the children.


3.   Share Responsibilities:

  • If possible, share responsibilities for holiday preparations and celebrations. This may include decorating the home, shopping for gifts, and planning holiday activities. Collaborating on these tasks can create a sense of unity and shared commitment to the children's happiness.


4.  Coordinate Gift-Giving:

  • Coordinate gift-giving to avoid duplication and ensure that the children receive thoughtful and meaningful presents. This can also prevent any potential competition between parents during the holidays.


5.  Plan Joint Celebrations:

  • If it's feasible and comfortable, consider spending part of the holiday together as a family. This may involve a joint Christmas morning or a shared holiday meal. The key is to create positive memories for the children.


6.  Be Flexible:

  • Be flexible and open to adjustments in your plans. The ability to adapt and compromise is crucial, especially during the holiday season, which can be emotionally charged.


7.  Respect Traditions:

  • Respect and consider any holiday traditions that are important to your co-parent and the children. Strive to maintain these traditions, as they can provide comfort and continuity during a challenging time.


8.  Manage Expectations:

  • Set realistic expectations for the holiday season. Acknowledge that it may be different from previous years, but focus on creating positive and enjoyable moments for the children.


9.  Create New Traditions:

  • Consider creating new traditions that involve both parents. This can be an opportunity to establish positive memories and traditions that the children can carry with them in the years to come.


10. Encourage Communication:

  • Encourage open communication with the children. Let them express their feelings and concerns, and reassure them that both parents are committed to their well-being and happiness.


Remember that the key to navigating the holiday season during a separation is cooperation, communication, and a focus on creating a positive experience for the children. It may require compromise and flexibility, but by working together, you can create a supportive and loving environment for your family during Christmas. If needed, seek the guidance of trained professionals to help navigate these challenging times.


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